Introduction:
Emotional health is often undervalued or overlooked. We often look at someone’s behavior and consider everything else before we consider their emotional maturity. We look at their diet, their exercise, their spiritual health, their mental health, and so on. But what is often happening when someone has an outburst or uncalled-for behavior is that their emotional maturity is lacking.
Being emotionally healthy means that you have emotions and know how to regulate them. You know what you need and how to satisfy that need when an emotion comes. This may look like you experience the emotion of anger, and instead of lashing out, you talk it out because you realize the need that isn’t being met is miscommunication.
Someone who is emotionally healthy isn’t someone who doesn’t experience emotions—it’s someone who doesn’t let their emotions control them.
Now that we have a little more understanding of what emotional health is, what does God have to say about it?
Biblical Foundation:
Galatians 5:18–24:
“But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
Living by the flesh is what will cause us to live emotionally immature. What separates the emotionally mature from the immature is the reason they live their lives. The one who walks by the flesh seeks their own desires, their own wills, and when this happens, you are controlled and led by your emotions. Look at a toddler when they don’t get what they want—they cry and throw a tantrum. Unless they are taught that life is not just about them and that others’ needs are to be put first.
This is not to say you neglect your needs, but you simply don’t live with that as your sole purpose. Living by the Spirit is the key to being emotionally healthy. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit and choose to be led by Him, the fruit of that will be emotional health. It says here in Galatians that a fruit of the Spirit is self-control.
Self-control is the ability to control yourself! How straightforward is that? When you are led by the Spirit, the fruit of that in your life is the ability to control yourself—your emotions, your actions.
So rather than being controlled by your emotions, you have control over them. God is telling us here in Galatians to put off our flesh and walk by the Spirit. When we do that, our emotional health will only get better and better.
Jesus’ Example
Jesus was the most emotionally mature human on the planet. You may say this is because He is God. It would be better to say it was because He is love. Love does not seek its own—it is the opposite of self-centeredness. When you walk in love, which in essence is being led by the Spirit because the Spirit is love, you don’t live immaturely.
Jesus controlled His emotions—they didn’t control Him. We see in Jesus’ temptation that although He was hungry and thirsty, He did not allow Satan to use His emotions against Him to fall into temptation.
You also see when Jesus made a whip of cords and drove out the Pharisees from the temple, He did this with righteous anger, but it was calm and controlled. We also see that when Jesus went to see Lazarus dead, He wept over him but still was in control and performed a miracle. Jesus never allowed His emotions to get the best of Him—He always understood how to live in them but not by them.
Practical Application
Stay in the Word of God
Staying in the Word will keep us aligned with the Spirit of God. I see so often that people don’t stay in the Word and they think they are walking by the Spirit but are really being led away. The Word of God is what grounds us to the truth and keeps our minds ready to hear from Him.
When emotions come, pause and pray
Pausing and praying will stabilize you and posture you to walk by the Spirit. Rather than becoming anxious and not knowing what to do, or immediately responding in the emotion, this leads you to submit yourself and your emotions to God first before anything else.
Have trustworthy accountability
Bring your spouse, or a friend, family member, or brother or sister.
Read more on the topic, and stay connected to the blog.
Warnings or Misconceptions:
Emotional maturity is not having everything all together. It is not a person who is perfect in their emotions in every scenario.
Emotional maturity for the believer is being consistently and practically reliant on God. You can’t allow your emotions to become your Lord. When Jesus is Lord, then He rules your emotions.
How do you actually do that? Well, it means that you constantly look to Him. When an emotion comes you don’t know how to deal with, you pray. You speak to Holy Spirit and He will respond. He will help you to change, to calm down, to know what to do. He is our helper.
John 14:26: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
Reflection Questions:
With this topic, let’s ask ourselves a few questions to see where we are at in our emotional maturity and if we need healing in any area emotionally.
- “Am I behaving inappropriately or immaturely when an emotion I am not comfortable with comes?”
- “Have I been trying to cope and work through my emotions alone?”
- “How can I bring God into my emotional life?”
Prayer:
Father God, You are amazing and worthy and good. I ask that You will show me any area of my emotional life that I need to lay at Your feet. Guide me to give my emotions to You and not try to overcome them on my own.
Thank You for loving me and hearing my prayer and answering. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit who comforts, teaches, and helps me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Conclusion:
God created our emotions, but they became corrupt when sin entered the world. When we are born again, our emotions start to change into how they were originally created, but we must submit to the work that Holy Spirit is doing in us.
Our loving Father gave us His Word and His Spirit and the fellowship of the saints to help us to heal from emotional traumas and immaturities and become more like Him every day. So keep seeking Him and you will be healed emotionally, spiritually, and physically! Praise God for His love toward us!
Call to Action
Make sure you share this post with your friends and family who need help growing in their emotions. Stay tuned for more future posts like this! And as always, stay in the Word, in fellowship with God, and in fellowship with His body, the Church.
If you haven’t already, check out my last post on what God says about healthy eating here! And stay tuned for my next post on What God Says About Walking Through Grief and Loss here!
References
Bible Gateway. (n.d.). BibleGateway.com. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/
